The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

   Its been nearly twenty years, I guess, since the symptoms first appeared.  At night, I would awaken from a sound sleep, both my arms painfully cramping.  I would get up, walk around, and shake them out.  When I got married, it continued.  The only difference was after marriage, I woke someone else up too.  Frequently, I would be so exhausted, I could only cry.  My husband would lean over and gently massage my arms until I fell back to sleep.  On bad days, I would sometimes have to hold my morning coffee cup with both hands so as not to drop it.  Sometimes, my wrists would just give out on me.
   Someone mentioned to me in passing that this was most likely carpal tunnel syndrome.  So, I went to the doctor.  They went by the book.  They fitted me for braces, said to wear them at night.  I asked, "For how long?"  "Forever", was the only answer I got.  They were uncomfortable, hindered my sleep nearly as much as the carpal tunnel itself, and well, look at them.  Real attractive, right?  To make matters worse, I would, on occasion scratch my face on the Velcro fasteners while I was sleeping.  I happened to find these in my drawer.  I'm not sure why I kept them.  Today, they get trashed.

    Anyway, the doctors proposed that I take the carpal tunnel test.  Let me tell you...I have had two rather painful knee surgeries, and a 9.5 lb baby.  I have never experienced anything more excruciatingly painful than the carpal tunnel syndrome test...and I did it twice (once on each arm).  

    The first time was in Arizona.  I went alone.  My husband was deployed at the time.  I did fine for the initial part of the test (the electrical one), but when they began sticking needles in my arm, I felt like they had hit a nerve.  It literally made me feel like I was having a nervous breakdown.  The tears came, from where I have no idea.  It wasn't normal.  It wasn't emotional.  It was a purely physical reaction to whatever nerve they had touched inside my arm.  Even the doctor was concerned.  He kept asking if I needed a break.  My only thought was, "Is this for real?  What the heck are you doing to me?"  He said he could take a break, then start over.  Well, screw that.  When it was over, I just wanted to lay down and gather my thoughts.  And he had only done one arm.  I drove home.  It was probably a mistake.  I was a nervous wreck.  But at the time...there was only me.  I took a nap.  

   I didn't get the second arm tested until we had moved back east.  It was done at Walter Reed.  I procrastinated as long as I could, but I had to have the other arm done.  It was the only way they would consider doing the surgery everyone said I needed.  This time, I asked a friend (well, she's really more of a relative) to come along so I wouldn't have to drive myself home.  I don't know.  I guess I imagined Walter Reed would be more advanced in their medical procedures...I imagined it would run smoother than before.  Otherwise, I wouldn't have gone.  But I did.  It was worse than the previous time.  The uncontrollable tears came.  My nerves felt shattered.  

   Now I should mention that it was not the needles themselves that caused this reaction.  I have no fear of needles.  I was once one of those blood donors that the red cross calls at home, a frequent flyer so to speak.  When they stopped me (because I'd been in Germany in the 80's), I was working on donating my third gallon.  The scars on my lucky arm make me look like a reformed addict.  And well, I do have a tattoo.     

   Laying there, I tried desperately to take my mind to a different place...out of that room, that hospital, but nothing worked.  My friend, looking as if she were witness to a modern torture chamber, tried to persuade the doctor to give me a Valium or something.  He didn't listen.  He just kept saying, "Almost done."  It felt like it went on for hours.  Afterwards, she took me out to a restaurant to get some food on my stomach.  Well, she took me out to help me calm down.  I imagine I looked pretty bad.  

    The results of both tests came back the same.  They said I had carpal tunnel syndrome; however, it wasn't bad enough to go forward and do surgery.  The doctors said I should wear the braces, and take NSAIDs (Non steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs).  Great.  More Motrin.  Well, one thing was for sure.  I was never going back for more of those tests.  Fool me once.  Shame on you.  Fool me twice. Shame on me.  I guess I was the fool.  Fitting that today is April Fool's Day, huh?

    Eventually, through trial, error and a really intelligent masseuse, I learned a more natural way to relieve my carpal tunnel syndrome symptoms.  It just goes to show that you don't always need an official fancy degree on your wall to give people comfort when they are suffering.  If the room is cool because of the weather outside or even from air conditioning, I wear long sleeves to bed or wrap my arms in my blanket.  Keeping my arms warm helps immensely.  But if I do wake up from cramped arms (because someone got warm and decided to turn the AC on at night), there is a pressure point in the hand I can massage to make the pain go away almost like magic.  It is between the thumb and the forefinger.  I don't take Motrin or anything else for the carpal tunnel.  I prefer the more natural remedy.  So far, so good.  : )