Not Your Ordinary Slippery Two Fisted Drinker

  I guess you could say today began like an ordinary day.  I got up, got dressed in my work out clothes, and went downstairs to make coffee, feed the cat, etc.  Normally, with only nine days left of school until summer vacation, I would be excited.  I would be ready to sleep in a little, maybe plan a trip to a nearby park or pool.  But I couldn't think about that.  My mind was on my mom.  But my brother said to be patient, to wait for further word.  Maybe I would stick close to home today, or at least close to my cell phone.
  I decided today would be a good day to take a walk outside.  It was hot, but not so much that I couldn't stand it.  Besides, I like the heat.  A combination of the sunshine and the music would help me clear my head.  The news said it was nearing 80 degrees, so I thought it would be wise to lather up on the sunscreen.  I grabbed the waterproof 30 SPF and covered myself completely.  I put on my "Retired Army" hat and set out on my walk.
  When I got down to the corner, I couldn't bring myself to turn left.  For some reason, I thought it would be, I don't know, luckier to turn right.  Don't ask.  Sometimes I get wild ideas in my head.  I hit the button to cross and headed right towards what would be our youngest's new high school.  I wondered if I could make it the whole way.  It seemed pretty far when I drove it the other day.  As it turned out, it wasn't.  It was just under three miles there and back, not really a challenge.  I came home afterwards, having twisted my knee when I stepped on a rock.  Maybe going right wasn't so lucky after all.

  Even with my knee hurting, I knew I couldn't end my work out walking only three miles.  I kept my pedometer on and ran a couple of errands.  Maybe I just needed a break.  When I came home, I felt better, so I hopped on the treadmill for another three miles.  My skin was shimmering from the combination of tanning lotion and perspiration.  By now, it was time for "Kathie Lee and Hoda".  I was so...behind schedule.  As if I had anywhere to go.  (well, I did have chores to do and well, I had to write this blog)  I stepped off the treadmill and drank down a much needed glass of water.  Then I did fifty push ups.  When I came down to my knees, I slipped and fell to the mat.  Oops.  Then, I slipped again.  The tanning lotion was making me a slippery mess.  I looked like one of those silent movie comedians that keep getting up and falling down.  I guess you had to be there.  Anyway, I stood up, grabbed a towel and attempted to wipe some of it off.  I managed to squeeze in 100 sit ups and 100 butt lifts, but today, I would skip the weights.  It was getting late and if nothing else I had to eat something besides that one slice of cinnamon raisin toast I had this morning.  By the way, it was 80 calories, 100% whole wheat, and extremely yummy.
   I went up and took my shower.  It was now nearing 1130.  I had to get my protein shake in before the morning was completely gone.  There was a knock at the door.  A young lady was selling educational books from Southwestern Advantage.  I tried to be nice.  I promised I would check out the website.  I didn't have the heart to tell her that if I didn't eat something soon, I was going to pass out.  I felt bad, but its difficult to pay attention when you have an empty stomach.  Here's the website, if you want to check it out for your own students.  http://www.southwesternathome.com/About-The-Southwestern-Company.aspx 
  Eventually, I was able to make my protein drink...Jillian Michael's natural chocolate flavored whey protein mix, one cup crushed ice, one cup water, one tablespoon wheat germ, and fruit (strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries, banana).  It always makes about two full 12 ounce glasses.  Routinely, I like to sit in our living room, relax, and savor the fruity goodness one glass at a time.
  But today, as I was enjoying one glass, a humongous monster fly whizzed by my head and scared the you know what out of me.  Now, most folks might not be bothered by this, but I am one of those that back in the early 90's spent several months in Saudi Arabia waiting on Desert Storm to begin.  Flies and I...we have this history.  And as a rule, we don't get along.  I get a little nutty even with only one in the house.  Because of my issues with flies, our youngest has become like a little game hunter helping me to kill them as soon as they are seen.  Unfortunately, my fly hunter is at school.
   I grabbed both of those drinks and protected them from that monster fly like I was guarding the hope diamond.  That fly wasn't going to land in my special, nutritious, might I say artfully prepared whey protein smoothie.  It was mine.  Obsessive?  Maybe.  But I still have nightmares from that one Thanksgiving I spent in that mess tent in the desert...fly strips hanging all around me...full of those nasty creatures.  And me, eating my holiday dinner with one hand and swatting the hundreds of flies with the other.  Still gives me the shivers.  So, I guess I'm not your ordinary slippery two fisted drinker, but that's okay.  No need for rehab when its healthy, right?